Teh Safest way..

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket — safe, dark, motionless, airless — it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside of Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell."
-C.S. Lewis

Self Thot

When you've realized that all you have is yourself, you can go on with life without any dependence from others..

Wikend

Sabado

Comatose nang buong hapon at nagising nalang bandang 9 ng gabi. Grabeng OT yan hehe na sinamahan pa ng perwisyo ng paghuhukay dyan sa Payatas.Nag-net nalang sa notebook buong gabi at inantay nalang ang ika-4 ng umaga.

Linggo

Naghanda para sa jogging sa school oval ng San Jose, umalis sa bahay mga 4.30 ng umaga at naglakad nalang. Kahit maaga marami na rin ang nag jogging. Sumabay sa mga tanders na joggers at kung paano ma-maintain ang bilis at makarami ng laps. In the end sila rin ang bumigay at ako nalang ang nagpatuloy. Masarap talaga pag merong kang kasabayan or point of reference para alam mo ang bilis mo sa pagtakbo. Naka-ilang lap din ako nun bago ko naramdaman ang pagsisikip ng dibdib. Kinarir kasi.

Inspired rin kasi nakita ko ang crush jogger ko at ayun, nakaw-tingin palagi pag naglalapit kami or nakakasabay siya, to the point na nag counter clockwise pa ako para masalubong lang siya. Sandali lang siya at umalis rin mga ilang laps. Kaya ako pahinga na lang bago umuwi sa amin. Pero nakasalubong ko naman siya nang pauwi na ako sa amin kaya tumigil na naman ang mundo. Toinks.

Kinahapunan eh niyaya ko si Angelo na mag food trip. Dumaan saglit kay Manong Ed para tingin ng mga books at kinuha number niya para just in case may stock ng gusto ko eh makakakuha siya sa super murang halaga compared sa price sa bookstore.

Dumaan muna kami sa Puregold para maglibot libot dahil hindi pa nakakapunta si Angelo dun at nagtingin na rin ako ng ref at naghahanap ng mura pero ok. Tapos eh dumaan na kami sa Town Center at kumain sa fastfood, then nag National Bookstore para tingin ng books, then Handyman naman at nagbabakasakali kung meron silang fishing pole, hindi na kasi natuloy-tuloy yung plano namin na mangisda para maiba naman, bukod pa run ang hunting sa forest kasama Tito niya at eto pang biking lalo na't bumili siya ng mountain bike at ako naman eh papaayos ang sa akin.

Maraming pwedeng gawin, wala lang oras at resources, sana lang tumigil o bumagal ang oras para ma-enjoy naming tropa ang mga activities na ito. Paguwi eh nakaramdam ako ng pagod at antok dahil almost 24 oras na akong gising at bagsak agad sa higaan matapos maligo. Siguro sa Martes nalang ang jogging at masakit pa ang katawan at baka magkasakit pa pag pinilit.

LSS - It Might Be You - Stephen Bishop

sigh.. napapakanta nalang minsan pag nasa loob ng MRT or kapag nasa biyahe at ako lang ang pasahero.. lalo na ang line na.. "wishing there would be, someone waiting over me.."

Pesteng araw

Grabe, ngayon lang sinaid ng traffic na yan ang pasensya ko. For almost 2 hours stuck sa traffic. Alikabok, usok, init at pawis eh nagsama-sama nung oras na yun.

Panay ang hukay nang hukay ng kalsada para lang makakurakot. Ayos ang kalsada, sinisira. Mga walanghiya talaga. Ang haba haba na ng traffic araw araw nalang at lagpas na ng isang buwan iyang pesteng paghuhukay na yan. Mapipilitan akong mag alternate nito. Kainis.

Aktibidad

Medyo homebud nitong mga nakaraan mga linggo lalo na't hindi ok ang panahon.

Sa bahay, basa lang ng books, 3rd book ng Lord of the Rings - Return of the King. Then download lang ng torrents and right now Visionaries: Knights of the Magical Light.

Daming gagawin next month, reunions, local trips, year-end party. Still hoping na magiging Ok ang performance sa work para maisagawa ko mga plano sa susunod na taon. At kung hindi, no choice kundi tahakin ang daan na walang kasiguruhan. Bahala na.

Tenksgibing

Happy Thanksgiving sa mga US friends natin. Yay! Walang pasok! Pero dahil sa super OT at karir kanina. Comatose ako buong hapon at gabi na nagising.

Eto net buong gabi at bukas ng umaga try kong mag jogging then back to work na naman. Ciao!

Nu meron?

Matagal tagal narin bago nakapag update sa blog. Patapos na rin kasi ang taon kaya ang daming activities. Office palang tambak na sa work at maraming mga events.

Gift ko sa sarili ko, bumili ng notebook para makapag net narin kahit nasa bahay. Thanks nga pala Sir Ramgel for this and sa tips and advice.

Hindi na nga ako nakabili ng refrigerator para sa tindahan at baka magipon nalang ako for December para happy na mga tao sa haus.

Wish ko lang din, sana next year mahanap ko na si special someone, ang hirap niya hanapin.. Hays!

Lumipat na ako..

Sink in..

Excited sa takbo..

Hindi na nga ako nakatulog kagabi dahil sa Takbo sa Ilog Pasig na yan, wala akong makakasabay o matutuluyan man lang, kahit kung kani-kanino na ako nag-text pero Ok lang, in the end naman walang tutulong sa iyo kundi sarili mo kaya no hard feelings at think for the best nalang.
Muntik na akong ma-late dahil sa katakot-takot na traffic mula sa Pasay Rotonda bukod pa kanina sa FX na super bagal ang byahe. Nagkukumahog sa pagtakbo iyon naman pala eh lagpas na alas-5 nagsimula ang takbuhan.

Kasabay ang mga co-workers pero sa ibang department, tinahak ang 10k race, medyo nahirapan ako pagdating ng 3k dahil sumikip ang dibdib ko kaya dahan-dahan ako sa pagusad. Nakaraos naman sa huli at umaasa na ma beat ko ang previous record ko sa Unilab Run United na 1hr, 14mins at target ko talaga bago mag 1 hour eh matapos ko ang race.

Kaunting picture-picture sa iba, sa activity area hanggang sa napagpasyahang umuwi na bago pa mag-9am para makahabol sa free ride sa MRT. Nakarating sa amin bandang alas-11 na ng umaga, salamat sa pesteng traffic sa zigzag na ilang buwan nang ginagawa ang kalsada.

Nakatulog sa sobrang pagod at gabi na nagising. Though struggling parin sa 10k eh nakakaraos naman ang inyong lingkod hanggang sa marating niya ang final goal na sumali sa mga 21k run. Hanggang sa muli..

Numerolohiya

You entered: [real name]

There are 14 letters in your name.
Those 14 letters total to 64
There are 5 vowels and 9 consonants in your name.

What your first name means:
Teutonic    Male    God's peace.
German    Male    Derived from one of three Old German names, meaning district, traveler, or peaceful pledge. Famous bearer: Geoffrey Plantagenet was father to King Henry II; Geoffrey Cbaucer wrote 'The Canterbury Tales'.
French    Male    Divine peace.
English    Male    Derived from one of three Old German names, meaning: district, traveler, or peaceful pledge.
Anglo-Saxon    Male    Peaceful gift.

Your number is: 1

The characteristics of #1 are: Initiating action, pioneering, leading, independent, attaining, individual.

The expression or destiny for #1:
A number 1 Expression denotes the skilled executive with keen administrative capabilities. You must develop the capacity to be a fine leader, sales executive, or promoter. You have the tools to become an original person with a creative approach to problem solving, and a penchant for initiating action. Someone may have to follow behind you to handle the details, but you know how to get things going and make things happen. You have a good mind and the ability to use it for your advancement. Because of these factors, you have much potential for achievement and financial rewards. Frequently, this expression belongs to one running a business or striving to achieve a level of accomplishment on ones talents and efforts. You have little need for much supervision, preferring to act on your own with little restraint. You are both ambitious and determined. Self-confident and self-reliant must be yours, as you develop a strong unyielding will and the courage of your convictions.

Although you fear loneliness, you want to be left alone. You fear routine and being in a rut. You often jump the gun because you are afraid of being left behind.

The negative attributes of the 1 Expression are egotism and a self-centered approach to life. This is an aggressive number and if it is over-emphasized it is very hard to live with. You do not have to be overly aggressive to fulfill your destiny. The 1 has a natural instinct to dominate and to be the boss; adhering to the concept of being number One. Again, you do not have to dominate and destroy in order to lead and manage.

Your Soul Urge number is: 2

A Soul Urge number of 2 means:
With the Soul Urge number 2, your motivation is centered on friendships, partnerships, and companionship. You want to work with others as a part of a cooperative team. Leadership is not important to you, but making a contribution to the team effort is. You are willing to work hard to achieve a harmonious environment with sensitive, genial people.

In a positive sense, the 2 Soul Urge is sympathetic, extremely concerned and devoted. The nature tends to be very sensitive to others, always tactful and diplomatic. This element in your nature indicates that you are rather emotional. You are persuasive, but in a very quiet way, never forceful. You are the type that makes really close friendships because you are so affectionate and loving.

If this number is over-emphasized in your makeup, you may be over-sensitive, with a delicate ego that is too easily hurt. You may be timid or fearful, too easygoing for your own good.

Your Inner Dream number is: 8

An Inner Dream number of 8 means:
You dream of success in the business or political world, of power and control of large material endeavors. You crave authority and recognition of executive skills. Your secret self may have very strong desire to become an entrepreneur.

Pagod na sa Kakaisip

Sa dami kong iniisip, it end up na gusto ko na bumitaw sa relasyon. Iniisip ko kasi para mawala na lahat ng mga nasa isip ko mas mabuti kung maghiwalay na. Pero sa isang parte ng isipan at puso ko ay nagtatanong kung kaya ko ba? Madaming tanong noong mga oras na iyon. Mentally stressed ako lately. And it is not good. Really!

My other half and I don’t have any similarities. Magkaiba ng gusto. Magkaiba ng prinsipyo. Do I need to give the details here?! Basta magkaiba kami. Mahirap siyang i-please. Hindi ko alam kung ang gagawin ko ba ay maappreciate niya o hindi. Nahirapan ako.
-Learning, Mga Kwento ni Waltz

Pagbabalik

Pagkatapos ng mahigit na isang taon.......

Uuwi ako sa probinsiya.
Makikita ko na naman si Nanay at ang makulit kong kapatid.
Makakahiga na naman ako sa aking sariling kama.
Mayayakap ko ang mga naiwan kong unan.
Makikita ko ang mga barkada at kaklase sa hayskul.
Masasabi ko: Masarap ang Buhay!
-Nagbabalik, Dan's Moron Me

teh Essence

It came to me that I am driven not by ideas but by emotions. And in the end, I don’t have to envy those people who could write in utter honesty because, I know, I honestly write what I feel.
-When the waltz is over*, Through the Sadness

kakamiss ito..

Push

Not pushing one's self to do more won't do any good, but pushing one's self too far is far more worse. I think it is all about learning the fine line between utter mediocrity and sheer stupidity.
-Sick Elbow, Nox' One midnight Wolf

11th UP Anime Manga Enthusiasts - Monogatari @ World Trade Center

oo, Ako!

Ako lang ang may kayang magsabing
isa kang mabuting tao.
Ako lang ang magkakaroon ng lakas ng loob na
ipagtanggol ka kung sakaling may kakalaban sayo.
Ako mismo ang haharap sa kanila.
Dahil kilala kita at alam kong mahina ang loob mo.
Ako mismo ang magtataas ng ulo mong lagi mong niyuyuko
kapag hindi ka naiintindihan ng mundo.
Ako ang magsisigaw ng lahat ng pangarap mo
para malaman nilang hindi lang kapakanan mo ang iniintindi mo.
-Ako, Anne's Adlesirc

hmm.. kung kanino ako masaya

Wagas ka teh

Linkin Park - Rolling in the Deep (Adele Cover)

rare performance..

Hong enoh..

Don't Say Goodbye - Human Nature

kainis LSS ako dito for a week now, palaging pinapatugtog sa office kasi. ewan, minsan naiiyak ako pag nagiinternalize at pagintindi ng lyrics ng song na ito, been there, done that. kaya siguro ganito nalang ako kung sobrang emotional pag ganitong mga kanta and again, blame it to the weather..

Haberdey Angelo and Joseph

Haberdey nga pala,

Angelo, we've been friends since grade III palang and now more than 2 decades na friendship natin, walang magbabago hanggang sa tumanda tayo. Salamat sa pagkakaibigan. Alam ginagawa namin ang lahat para sa iyo at sa barkada natin. Sana magkitakita ang tropa natin back from elementary days, that would be one of the greatest and happiest moment that would come in my life. Hope you won't change and andyan naman ang PS Boys para magdamayan.

Joseph, natatawa nalang ako minsan dahil nakikita ko ang sarili ko sa iyo, kaya siguro magkasundo tayo. Hindi ka parin nagbabago. Maski sa amin eh hindi ka nagsasabi ng totoo at marami kang dahilan, lalo na yang pag-aabroad mo. Hope to see you soon again and congrats nga pala!

E.Y.

thanks Nelson for a wonderful passage from a book about being true to yourself, naliwanagan ako sa five principles na ito, maybe it's about time to re-think and reflect, mga past mistakes, wrong  decision and failures in life..

Principle 1: KnowYourself
Knowing ourselves is the first step to being ourselves in an authentic way. It takes courage to really look within and become aware of who we truly are at the deepest level. Our commitment to personal growth, to discovering more of who we are, and to allowing the support, honest feedback, and guidance of others is essential in our ability to know ourselves and thus be authentic.

Principle 2: Transform Your Fear
We all get scared in life, especially when we live, speak, and act in an authentic way. There’s nothing wrong with us for feeling fear; it’s one of the most basic and common human emotions. Our resistance to and denial of our fear are the real problems. When we’re able to admit, own, feel, and express our fear, we have the ability to transform it and utilize its power in a positive way. Taking action in the face of our fear is courageous and empowering. Being able to feel our fear and at the same time not allow it to stop us is essential in our commitment to live with authenticity. Living your authentic life.

Principle 3: Express Yourself
Expressing ourselves fully is one of the most important aspects of being authentic. When we have the courage to speak our truth, deal with conflicts directly, and express our emotions completely, we empower ourselves to be who we really are with others and in life in general. Being vulnerable and real, which on the surface are often seen as “weak,” in actuality are what give us access to authenticity, freedom, and power in our lives, our work, and our relationships.

Principle 4: Be Bold
Being bold is about living, speaking, and acting with courage and authenticity. It takes boldness to be true to ourselves and live an authentic life. Things we can do to be bold in our lives are be true to ourselves, live with passion, step out, lean on others, and when we fall down, get back up. When we remember and practice these important ele- ments of boldness with courage, we’re able to be who we truly are in a bold and authentic way.

Principle 5: Celebrate Who You Are
Celebrating who we are, completely, is the most important element to truly being ourselves. This is not about being arrogant or perfect, or having everything handled in life—it’s about accepting, acknowledging, and owning all of who we are, both our light sides and our dark sides, and choosing to celebrate ourselves. There is and only ever will be one of each of us. It’s our challenge in life to love our- selves in a genuine way if we want to live with a true sense of authenticity, fulfillment, and confidence. Being who we really are is all about celebrating ourselves.

These five principles of authenticity are powerful concepts that, with commitment, awareness, and courage, can be incorporated into your life on a regular basis. Each principle builds on the one before it, leading you through a process that starts with knowing yourself, then looks at confronting and transforming your fear, moves on to expressing yourself fully, continues with you being bold, and concludes with the most essential aspect of all: celebrating and loving who you are.

Adele - Someone Like You

Nevermind, I'll find someone like you.
I wish nothing but the best, for you too.
Don't forget me, I beg, I remember you said:-
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead"
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead, yeah.

Sa iyo,

Am trying as hard as I can para divert sa ibang activities para lang malimutan ka
Hindi ko alam bakit I'm still holding my feelings to you
Siguro dahil mabait ka at ramdam ko ang concern mo
Pero syempre hindi ko dapat misinterpret iyon at bigyan ng false hope ang sarili ko
Lalo na't malabo na magiging tayo..
I choose to love you in silence, for in silence i found no rejection
Wala akong lakas ng loob para sabihin sa iyo kung gaano kita kamahal
Kung gaano ako ka-excite na bigay ang 100% ng aking pagmamahal
Kaso maraming hadlang para gawin ko iyon kaya
Mas minabuti ko nalang na maging ganito nalang at ikimkim sa sarili
ang nararamdaman ko sa iyo na hindi ko alam kung hanggang kelan ko kakayanin
Hindi ko alam dapat kong gawin para kalimutan ka, please help me..
Am trying my best, sinasabi ko nlang sa sarili ko
kung san tayo magtatagal dun ako, pero hanggang kailan..
Ewan ko, puro walang kasiguruhan itong buhay na ito..
Mahal mo, hindi naman pwede maging kayo..
Sana hindi nalang ganun kakumplikado ang magmahal..

Bagong hamon

Bagong buwan na naman
Pressure months
Kung alam nyo lang ang ibig kong sabihin
Ayoko ng ganito
Parang mas matindi palagi ang kapalit
Parang pinagbabayaran ko ngayon ang choice na pinili ko
Hindi na ako masaya sa ganitong kalakaran
Mahirap magsalita dahil hindi mo na mababawi iyon
Sana malagpasan ko ang kalbaryo ngayong buwan
Kung hindi eh, kelangan tumahak na naman ng bagong landas
Sana hindi nalang ganun ka-kumplikado ang lahat
Wala man lang ako mahawakang susuporta sa akin
Mabuti pa ang iba
Bahala na..

on Being Single..

"I've been single for almost a year, and I'm still alive. More importantly, I am content in being single. Yes, I do miss the times when I have someone to cuddle to during the cold, rainy weather. I miss the quiet times of eating with your special someone in a very ordinary place -- however your special someone makes everything out of the ordinary. I am a hopeless romantic and an eternal dreamer, but I have learned that reality isn't all that hard, once I understood how to accept it. I quote myself a few months back: being single is a choice."
-Two Choice, Nox's One Midnight Wolf

Amfootek, kakaibang kundiman