Jin Turns 27

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Happy Birthday Jinjiruks!


Image courtesy of Sir Jason

Countdown

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Excited naman ako habang tinitingnan ang countdown sa right side ng blog ^^; parang New Year's Eve celebration. ilang oras na lang tatanda na naman ako ng isang tao.

Malamig ang Gabi

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Hindi ko alam pero ang saya ng pakiramdam ko habang bumibiyahe ako pauwi sa amin. Parang napawi ng klima ang lahat ng pagod at stress na naramdaman ko sa office. Ilang araw na lang katapusan na ng buwan. Ironic ang February 27 para sa akin - birthday ko nga, last day ko naman sa team ko na halos isang taon rin kaming nagsama tapos half-day pa ako nung araw na iyon. Ahehe! Ewan ko marami akong mami-miss sa pang-umaga. Habang binabagtas ng jeepney ang daan pauwi - bumabalik sa akin ang alaala nung mga panahong bago pa lang kami sa company. Mga tawanan, pikunan, mga bagong challenge sa work, ang team building etc. Anu kaya ang eksena sa Friday, -panigurado hindi maiiwasang may iiyak sa mga iyan. Mawawala na kasi ang gwapong joker sa team. (nag-angat pa ng bangko!) Sana palaging ganito ang panahon. Tahimik at malamig. Oras na para batiin ang bagong hamon sa paglipat ng buwan.

Blog Event

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Tenk Yu Po sa Porti Tawsan

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as much as possible ayoko po magbilang nito pero natutuwa lang kasi ako na in a span of just a week, Teh Other side of [Jin] already got..

40,000 hits
salamat po muli sa inyong suporta..

Caleruega - Close to Nature. Closer to God.

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Rising tall and majestic in the highest point of Caleruega is the Transfiguration Chapel. From here one can behold the expanse of Caleruega and witness the glorious opus of radiant nature – a symphony of sky, trees, and the distant hills of Batulao. Like St. Peter during Jesus’ transfiguration, anyone who experiences such splendor of nature’s poetry will declare: Lord, it is good for us to be here… (Mt.17:4).

The bridge that connects the Church to the Hill

One of the Station of the Cross that you would encounter along the way

Majestic scenery overlooking Brgy. Kaylaway, Batulao


for more info. please visit Calaruega Philippines

WebWatch: Wigo.ph (Free Wi-Fi)

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http://www.wigo.ph/home.php

Letters from the Vault: To my Angel

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the letters from the vault series were collections of messages (email, letters) i got from people who "come and (and unfortunately..) go" to my life way back years ago..

Thursday, March 28, 2002 2:01 AM

hi angel!

Bakit lagi mo na lang akong inaaway? Lagi mo na lang akong pinapaiyak? Nagtxt ka sakin bout that underwear thing! kung yun lang ang dahilan kung bakit tayo pa rin........ non-sense yun noh!!!!! kung mahal mo ko, kahit na ano pa underwear ko mamahalin mo pa rin ako. let's clear things once and for all.... i wanna know our relationship... kasi nalilito na talaga ko sa tin.. minsan you tell me that you love me pero hindi ko alam kung hanggang saan yun... hindi ko alam kung friends all we can be or ano? hanggang saan ba? alam kong hindi ka sanay sa ganung setting pero kailangan ko nang malaman... sana naman masabi mo na sakin.. para habang maaga mapaghandaan ko na yung mga mangyayari.... alam mo na.... nandyan pa si marc... pero kaibigan ko lang rin naman sya.... kasi like you he's also preparing himself sa relationship and things bout his plans in life...kaya hindi ako makasingit sa kanya... baka mamaya magsabay pa kayo na magsabi na handa na kayo, ako naman ang maiipit sa inyong dalawa.. kasi para sakin naman hindi nakabase lahat sa love yung nararamdaman ko e.. it's like the friendship that counts... and in that case ikaw yung mas matimbang pag friendship na yung pinag-uusapan.... kasi pag nagbreak kayo, you still ahve the friendship between you and your lover. tama ba? o cge... sana sa email mo may isasagot ka na sakin... o much better if you can say it to me straight.... ok.. i'l wait for it... basta ang alam ko...... i love you....... i love you........ i love you........ baby i love you, you are my life, my happiest moments were incomplete if you wern't by my side...you next to me there's no darkness i can over come.. yu are the raindrops, i am the sea... baby i'm so proud, proud to be your ????.... you make the confusion go away as you hold me.... i'm in love with you.. you set me free.... i can't do this things, my life without you here with me... coz i'm dangerously in love with you......... i love you... i love you... i love you......

it's me you're angel

***

Wednesday, April 3, 2002 2:53 AM

I dont understand kung bakit lumalayo ka sakin... ako na nga gumagawa ng paraan para maging malapit tayo sa isa't-isa pero kaw yung nag-iisip nga mga bagay na hindi naman mahalaga.... i'll respect your decisioon na siguro hanggang magkaibigan na lang tayo.... siguro nga tama ka...... hanggang kaibigan na lang tayo.... pero i promise you na i'll always be here for you kahit magkaibigan lang tayo.. ok na rin yun siguro... i promise that i'll be good friend to you... i guess this is the end of our love story but it the beginning of the true frienship between the two of us.... i really wanna know if your really sick....it's bothering me so much.. so please let me know..... ok....

always remember that i love you.....

***

Saturday, February 15, 2003 5:00 AM

musta? i've been trying to call you this past few days pero laging walang sumsagot sa fone.. as i've told you... i wont give up on you... mahal n mahal kita... il wait even if it takes forver... that's how much i love you... lam ko hindi mo ko mahal o ganun kahalaga syo pero nandito lang ako nagmamahal syo.... sounds corny pero un tlg...i always say... what if mahal din nya ko?..... what if kung importante din ako?... msaya sana ako..... i love you! kahit iba ang mhal mo..... kahit si *** ang mahal mo... love you.... hintay ako sa reply mo.....

***

Tuesday, February 25, 2003 3:17 AM

i still dunno y m still hoping u wil love me.... khit n nssktan ako ok lng kasi para naman yun sa mhal ko..... kahit pa siguro anong mangyari kaw lang ang mamahalin ko ng ganito.... kahit magkaroon pa ng iba sa buhay ko ikaw lang tlga ang nand2...alam ko masakit pero lahat ng sakit kakayanin ko para lang sa'yo..... nnd2 lang naman ako e.... always here for u no matter wat..... if u only give me a chance to love u, il do my best to take care of you..... and love u and stay faithful 2u...... siguro karma na rin 2 sakin kasi mapaglaro kasi ako........marami akong nsktan kaya e2 na cguro ung balik nun...... triple pa sa mga sakit na binigay ko sa kanila.....basta nand2 lang ako mahal ko!

Backtrack

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Sensya tinatamad lang ako mag-post, walang idea na pumapasok sa akin although maraming nangyari nitong nakaraang araw..

14 - Date with myself. Hehe! Nakipag-meet lang kay Kuya John ang aking consultant sa mga bagay-bagay na may kinalaman sa positive reinforcements, mga dating, grooming and health tips. Binigyan niya rin ako ng advice about the right haircut, mga tamang damit na susuot etc. Medyo awkward nga sa simula kasi hindi naman ako sanay sa ganung approach na sasabihin sa iyo mga tips na iyon in public. Natutuwa ako sa kanya kasi hinahatak niya ako to be positive hindi iyong buong buhay mo lang na walang mangyayari sa iyo, pero syempre lahat naman ng pagbabago may risk na kasama iyon nga lang dapat calculated siya. Medyo hapon na umuwi si Kuya para puntahan ang partner niya na nag-aantay sa kanya. Nagpakalbo na rin nga pala ako that day pag-uwi and all I can say is happy ako sa gupit ko ngayon.

15 - Pahinga as in DVD movie marathon lang. The usual kung-fu ones na naman.

16 - Kahit maulan sa Metro Manila natuloy pa rin ang trip to Tagaytay City, medyo late dumating ang sasakyan dahil Lunes at traffic. US bank holiday kaya walang pasok. Saka ko na post ang mga pics kasi hindi ko pa na-upload mula sa Digicam. All I can say is puro "Whoa" lalo na sa Calerwega sa Nasugbu, Batangas. Sayang at medyo bitin dahil sa holiday kami umalis at hindi during weekends.


***
Pahabol..

Welcome back Kuya Dark Knight!!

Happy 1st Anniversary - Wave 2 Chase LTDM-RECOLLEX

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He Says

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"But I was wrong. Maybe I just dreamed too much that I forgot the rancorous after-effect of the so called LOVE..Or maybe, I might have found it. But it was not mine to hold forever. Whatever it is, all i can say is never ever trust what you feel. That following what your heart says doesn’t guarantee happiness. Cause at the end of the day, you won’ t get nothing but twinge in the most delicate part of your entity.. your heart. They say that you always have to fight for what you feel. That when you found that someone who turns your world around like nobody ever did, never ever let him/her go. Honestly, that was what I also believed in. But those beliefs drowned me till i almost forgot about me.. Life they say, should be lived to its fullest. Forget about the pain, love like you have never loved before, do what makes you happy and follow what your heart wants. But isn’t it escaping reality? a wishful thinking? Reality is far different to what ‘optimists’ try to view it. And love? It’s the same thing as life. It gives you joy but it doubles the pain. It excites you, but fails you in the end."
-Up, Anonymous (I don't have permission to post his blogsite)

Clip: My Immortal - Gregorian: Masters of Chant

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My Immortal
Gregorian: Masters of Chant (Original - Evanescence)

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

[Chorus:]
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

[Chorus]

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

[Chorus]

25 pasabog

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In response sa pag tagged sa akin ng respetadong blogger na si Kuya Aris, eto na po a mabilis na pasada lang na mga 25 bagay tungkol sa inyong linkod..

1. Hindi ako nagwa-wallet ever since. Wala lang ewan ko kung bakit. Mas gusto ko sa bulsa na lang lahat para hindi mainit ang mata ng mga masasamang loob.

2. Kaliwete po ako at ang utak eh aktibista rin. Hehe. Pero marunong rin naman ako mag-kanan iyon nga lang ang panget.

3. Sobra akong kuripot (pwede masinop na lang), na kailangan ng lahat ng bibilhin eh naka-planado at computed na sa budget. Kaya huwag makipag-date sa taong ito.

4. Short-tempered po ako at ayokong pinipilit ako sa mga bagay na ayaw ko. Antayin mong magkusa ako na gawin ang mga bagay na iyon.

5. I have no tolerance sa makukulit na bata, makakatikim ka talaga sa akin, if you'll gonna push your luck to me little child.

6. Sobrang adik po ako sa video games na kaya kong hindi kumain for about 16 hours sa sobrang absorbed sa paglalaro.

7. Hindi ako talentado sa larangan ng arte (hindi ako marunong sumayaw, kumanta at mag drawing).

8. Gusto kong nililinisan ang tenga ko ng ibang tao at hindi sarili ko, wala lang masarap lang pakiramdam at nakakatulog ako madalas.

9. All-time fave snack ang Nagaraya Cracker Nuts (Garlic Flavor).

10. Dream job ko ang maging archaeologist inspired from Indiana Jones.

11. Ayoko ng mushy na palabas at type kong panoorin mga horror flicks especially asian horrors, ok rin ang suspense, thriller at mga kung anu anung mga laman loob na inaalis sa tao habang buhay pa siya.

12. Transparent akong tao, malalaman mo ang mood ko sa kilos ko, pag galit ako hindi mo ako maririnig na magsasalita signalling na your crossing the border already.

13. Homebuddy lang po ako at hindi nasanay magliwaliw sa labas. Kung sakali lalabas eh dun na sa malayo at being with nature kesa magsasayaw ka sa club na kulang na lang eh apoy ng impyerno ang ilagay. haha!

14. Wala masyadong karanasan when it comes to dating so bear with me kung sino man ang magkakamali.

15. Fave anime ko Neon Genesis Evangelion dahil nakikita ko ang sarili ko kay Shinji (pero gusto ko avatar ni Hyuuga pakialam nyo).

16. I seldom eat fish, trauma na kasi nung natinik ako sa bangus at na-stuck siya sa throat ko.

17. Mr. Stresstabs sa sobrang haggard ang itsura. Ewan ko kung kelangan nabang ipa-overhaul sa talyer itong itsura ko.

18. Cat-lover at pang 5th generation na ang current na pusa naming si Chester, Raptor at Kebo.

19. Hindi po ako marunong lumangoy kaya hindi ako nagpupunta sa malalalim na lugar, pang children's area lang na 4 feet ako. huhu!

20. Hindi rin ako marunong magluto pero gusto kong matuto pero wag muna sa ngayon.

21. Agnostic po ako at Non-Practising Catholic. I do believe that there is a God but not to the institution. Pwede ka namang makipag-usap sa kanya directly. Nililigaw lang tayo sa kanya kanyang interpretation ng mga preacher diyan. Ayoko makipag-debate when it comes to religion dahil hindi tayo matatapos nang isang araw.

22. Ilang taong na akong loveless, still searching pero hindi ko alam kung bakit hindi ko siya mahanap. Anu kaya kailangan kong gawin?

23. Gusto kong matutong mag piano o gitara pero wala namang pwede magturo sa akin na malapit lang.

24. May crush ako sa office hindi ko sasabihin kung sino kaso taken na siya. Ok lang. Basta andyan siya masaya na ako.

25. Iniisip minsan ano ba talaga ang silbi ko sa mundo?

Phenomenal

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Grabe ah. Hindi kinaya ng powers ng blog ko ang hits na nag registered last Friday - all of them went to the Jay-Sarah wedding blog entry. 700+ hits from my usual average of 75 pageloads.


Jay Contreras (Kamikazee) and Sarah Abad "Morbid" wedding

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Naastigan ako sa wedding nila dahil sa Paco Park Cemetery ginanap and naka black/blue talaga ang lahat ng dumalo. Bit weird para maiba naman.






You [don't] have to wait

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Sa totoo lang hindi naman kailangan antayin pa ang February 14 para mapakita mo na mahal mo ang isang tao. Narinig ko sa MRT last time about sa story ng mag-asawa na bumili ng expensive wine na hinahanda nila sa isang special occasion. Gusto nang inumin ng babae niya ito pero ayaw ng lalaki at antayin na lang daw ang special day na iyon, hanggang sa di inaasahang namatay ito sa isang aksidente. Dumating ang special day na iyon, pero mag-isa na lang ang lalaki at wala ang asawa na magce-celebrate nito. Moral Lesson lang nito na hindi kailangang antayin ang espesyal na araw para mapakita mo na mahal mo ang isang tao, make it everyday a special day to both of you.

Nakakatamad

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ang araw na ito..

He Says

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"Sa kanya lang talaga ako nagbigay ng second chance sa relasyon. Mahal ko kasi talaga siya. Siya kasi ang sumagip sa akin noong mga panahong nalulunod ako sa lungkot. Siya ang muling nagbigay kulay sa aking mundo noong nagdidilim ito. Siya ang nagbigay dahilan sa akin upang muling ngumiti at maging masaya.

Kahit nagkahiwalay kami, hindi na muling nawala ang mga positibong bagay na natutunan ko sa kanya. Naging madali sa akin na tanggapin siyang muli because I have always loved him. I have always longed for him. Getting back together was like coming home."
-Hanggang Ngayon, Aris' Blog

The week that was

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-Medyo disorganize lang ako nitong nagdaang mga araw. The usual problema na patuloy na dumadating sa aking buhay. Parang PC na nauubusan ng virtual memory. Mental block palagi, tulala at hindi makausap nang matino. Maski ang performance ko sa office - dwindling and alarming na. Ewan ko bakit kasi kailangan pang isipin ang iba palagi na nakakalimutan ko na sarili ko.

-In a couple of days or maybe next month, magbabago na nang tuluyan ang akin social life, welcome to the "night-shift" life. Yes, I volunteered for the new function sa aming department. Matagal kong pinagisipan ito at tinimbang ang mga pros and cons sa paglilipat ng shift. Kailangan ko lang sigurong mag bagong buhay at makasagap ng sariwang hangin sa office. Masyadong toxic na kasi sa workarea. Alam mo na kanya-kanyang faction/groups na lang. Puro backbiting at plastikan lang. May nalalaman pang team building pero wala namang nagbi-build para masabi lang na meron. Kung magsasalita ka naman ikaw pa ang mapapasama. Hindi mo na nga alam kung ano ang ikikilos mo sa team na ito. Kaya siguro it's a good thing and a reliever na rin na kahit paano bagong mukha, bagong pod, bagong growth and development and hopefully magkaroon ng direction ang aking career. Planning to look for an apartment, hindi lang ma push through kasi wala pang pera at time. Nakakapagod na kasi ang 3hrs travel time na imbes magpapahinga ka na eh nasa biyahe ka pa.

-Sa haus eto, panibagong sakit ng ulo na naman pero Ok na ito. Planning to mortgage another house pero malapit lang sa current namin. Last week tiningnan ang area ok naman siya. Baka this week na kami papareserve para hindi na makuha ng iba. Di hamak na mas maganda dun kesa dito sa tinitirahan namin, kaunting ulan lang eh baha na sa harapan namin (malas lang namin kasi nasa mababang area kami), ayoko na maranasan na pinapasukan pa kami ng tubig na parang Navotas na. Basta ang bigat ng pakiramdam ko sa house, pakiramdam ko puro negative na lang nasasagap kong energy pag umuuwi ako. Hehe! Hindi ko nga alam kung kaya ko ba bayaran monthly ito sa dami ng gastos, baka ma-ospital na ako.

-Yay! May lanline na si Zander - sa lahat kasi ng mga gamers (sa GamePal) siya lang ang nakakasundo ko at parang magka-sync kami sa mga topic na gusto namin. Gusto ko ang biruan at usapan time namin. Wala lang halos kasi nagkakasundo kami sa mga pinaguusapan namin at masaya kasama ito lalo na sa mga sidetrip. Pareho naming gusto anime, books and video gaming. Nagpapaunahan kami sa mga recent updates sa area na iyon. Kaso nga lang nasa Cavite siya at Rizal ako kaya buti na lang at nakabitan na sila ng landline.

-Isa sa mga closest friend ko sa office eh si Rain - actually wala talaga kaming connection pero nung nakikita ko na parang OP siya lagi dahil puro babae mga kasabay niya sa group nila eh ako na ang nag approach para kausapin siya at makipag kaibigan. From that on, sabay na kami umuuwi from work (although mas malapit siya sa sana sa reverse way na usual niyang dinadaanan), kaya ngayon kahit papaano may nalalabasan na ako ng mga kinikimkim ko sa sarili at kakulitan kesa dati na mag-isang umuuwi at laging Biyernes santo ang itsura. Hindi nawawala ang kwek-kwek thing. I'm happy na nagkaroon na siya ng tiwala sa akin at nagsasabi na rin siya ng mga bagay na alam mo na. Hirap sabihin pero kailangang ilabas.

-Lovelife? anu iyon? Hindi ko alam anu pakiramdam o itsura nun. Haha. Wala lang bokya pa rin and ewan ko anu nba mangyayari sa akin sa parte na iyon. Ako na ang ang pinakamalas pagdating diyan. Wala lang. Siguro i'm not that attractive physically and super panget ng personality ko kaya iwas sila sa akin. hehe! Hindi naman ako nag self-pity masyado pero ganun talaga eh. Ewan ko anung kailangan kong gawin para mahalin nila ako. Pagod na pagod na ako at gusto ko na magpahinga sa bagay na yan. Kung darating o hindi, wala na akong pakialam. I'll just go with the flow na lang kung san ako dadalhin ng tadhana. Me mga bagay na nagbabalik pero hindi ko alam papano yayakapin. Magpapakatanga ba ako ulit o kakalimutan ang lahat at magsisiumula nang panibago.

-Sa MRT tuwing bumababa ako sa Quezon Avenue station, hindi ko maiwasang malungkot at maawa sa mga nakikita ko habang bumababa ng hagdan. Andun ang mga batang gusgusin na nakahiga sa malamig na sahig. Natutulog at minsan nilalangaw. Batang may hydrocephalus na karga ng kanyang ina. At si lola na nakikita ko lagi araw-araw na nakaupo sa gilid ng hagdan na dapat sana eh nagpapahinga na lang at ini-enjoy ang mga nalalabing panahon niya sa mundo. Gusto ko man silang tulungan pero sapat lang ang pera ko sa gastos sa sarili ko. Bakit kailangang humantong sa ganito. Bakit maraming naghihirap. Bakit kailangan sapitin nila ang ganito. May pag-asa pa bang magbago ang kapalaran.

Clip: LSS Maybe - King

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Maybe
King

There i was waiting for a chance
hoping that u'll understand
the things i wanna say

But my love
stronger than before
i wanna see u more and more
but you close the door

Why don't u try
to open up heart
i won't take so much of your time.....

Maybe it's wrong to say please love me too
coz i know u never do
somebody else is waitin' there inside for you....
maybe its wrong to love you more each day
coz i know its here to stay....
but i know to whom you should belong....

I believe what u said to me
we should set each other free
that's how u want it to be....

repeat II then chorus....

coda:
but my love is strong
i don't knopw if this is wrong
but i know to whom you should belong........

Reflection: Dont' Quit

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Don't Quit Poem
by anonymous
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest! if you must; but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As everyone of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up, though the pace seems slow;
You might succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor's cup.
And he learned too late, when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out;
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt;
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit;
It's when things seem worst that you mustn't quit.

Reflection: Determination

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In 1883, a creative engineer named John Roebling was inspired by an idea to build a spectacular bridge connecting New York with the Long Island. However bridge building experts throughout the world thought that this was an impossible feat and told Roebling to forget the idea. It just could not be done. It was not practical. It had never been done before.

Roebling could not ignore the vision he had in his mind of this bridge. He thought about it all the time and he knew deep in his heart that it could be done. He just had to share the dream with someone else. After much discussion and persuasion he managed to convince his son Washington, an up and coming engineer, that the bridge in fact could be built.

Working together for the first time, the father and son developed concepts of how it could be accomplished and how the obstacles could be overcome. With great excitement and inspiration, and the headiness of a wild challenge before them, they hired their crew and began to build their dream bridge.

The project started well, but when it was only a few months underway a tragic accident on the site took the life of John Roebling. Washington was injured and left with a certain amount of brain damage, which resulted in him not being able to walk or talk or even move.

"We told them so."
"Crazy men and their crazy dreams."
"It`s foolish to chase wild visions."

Everyone had a negative comment to make and felt that the project should be scrapped since the Roeblings were the only ones who knew how the bridge could be built. In spite of his handicap Washington was never discouraged and still had a burning desire to complete the bridge and his mind was still as sharp as ever.

He tried to inspire and pass on his enthusiasm to some of his friends, but they were too daunted by the task. As he lay on his bed in his hospital room, with the sunlight streaming through the windows, a gentle breeze blew the flimsy white curtains apart and he was able to see the sky and the tops of the trees outside for just a moment.

It seemed that there was a message for him not to give up. Suddenly an idea hit him. All he could do was move one finger and he decided to make the best use of it. By moving this, he slowly developed a code of communication with his wife.

He touched his wife's arm with that finger, indicating to her that he wanted her to call the engineers again. Then he used the same method of tapping her arm to tell the engineers what to do. It seemed foolish but the project was under way again.

For 13 years Washington tapped out his instructions with his finger on his wife's arm, until the bridge was finally completed. Today the spectacular Brooklyn Bridge stands in all its glory as a tribute to the triumph of one man's indomitable spirit and his determination not to be defeated by circumstances. It is also a tribute to the engineers and their team work, and to their faith in a man who was considered mad by half the world. It stands too as a tangible monument to the love and devotion of his wife who for 13 long years patiently decoded the messages of her husband and told the engineers what to do.

Perhaps this is one of the best examples of a never-say-die attitude that overcomes a terrible physical handicap and achieves an impossible goal.

Often when we face obstacles in our day-to-day life, our hurdles seem very small in comparison to what many others have to face. The Brooklyn Bridge shows us that dreams that seem impossible can be realised with determination and persistence, no matter what the odds are.

Even the most distant dream can be realized with determination and persistence.

The Real Meaning Of Peace

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The Real Meaning Of Peace
Author Unknown
There once was a king who offered a prize to the artist who would paint the best picture of peace. Many artists tried. The king looked at all the pictures. But therewere only two he really liked, and he had to choose between them.

One picture was of a calm lake. The lake was a perfect mirror for peaceful towering mountains all around it. Overhead was a blue sky with fluffy white clouds. All who saw this picture thought that it was a perfect picture of peace.

The other picture had mountains, too. But these were rugged and bare. Above was an angry sky, from which rain fell and in which lightning played. Down the side of the mountain tumbled a foaming waterfall. This did not look peaceful at all.

But when the king looked closely, he saw behind the waterfall a tiny bush growing in a crack in the rock. In the bush a mother bird had built her nest. There, in the midst of the rush of angry water, sat the mother bird on her nest - in perfect peace.

Which picture do you think won the prize? The king chose the second picture. Do you know why?

"Because," explained the king, "Peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. Peace means to be in the midst of all those things and still be calm in your heart. That is the real meaning of peace."

Anu daw

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Kakatapos lang namin kumain ng tanghalian, up to now kanina pa akong tawa nang tawa sa menu nila. Pagkadating sa JollyJeep napansin ko label ng ulam "Pork Stick" curious naman ako na baka parang inihaw siya na iniba lang ang pangalan kaya tiningnan ko iyon pala pork steak talaga ang ulam. Pati ang escabeche - "Skabitche" nakalagay. Ei hindi ko inaano ang mga Bisaya po kasi yung parent ko eh ganun din. Natawa lang ako dahil seryoso pa ako kanina na nagtataka kung may ganung ulam talaga.

He Says

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Dabo hihiramin ko muna ang quotes na ito sa iyo..

"It is always my stand that one should never substitute friendship for affection. I said it not out of bitterness or something to that effect, but former flames or former potential significant others have to define friendship first before they offer those words of comfort.

Move on but don’t move away.."
-Digit One, time for bath water, Dabo's ..a time for later

Paulit-ulit na lang

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Me mga bagay na gusto ko sabihin sa iba pero hindi ko magawa dahil batid ko ang magiging consequence nito. Ang hirap-hirap ng pakiramdam ng walang nasasabihan ng iyong mga problema, hinaing at mga takot sa buhay. Naiipon lang siya dito, hindi ko alam kung hanggang kailan ko siya makakayanang ikimkim. Natatakot ako baka dumating na lang ang araw na bigla na lang itong sumabog at hindi ko na alam kung ano ang pwede kong gawin sa sarili ko.

Bakit ba ganito ang mundo? Masyadong malupit. Mabangis. Sa isang iglap hindi mo namamalayan bigla ka nalang nitong lulumunin sa kawalan. Hanggang sa makita mo ang sarili mong nakalugmok sa putikan at wala man lang magbibigay ng kamay niya para ika'y tulungan. Napapadalas ang pag-iisip ko na sana nawala na lang ako. Ayoko naman saktan ang sarili ko. Pero handa naman ako sa kung anung mangyari sa akin kahit mamatay pa ako. Tutal pakiramdam ko wala namang nagmamahal sa akin. Hindi ko maramdaman ang presensya nila.

Parang akong kandilang unti-unting nauupos sa paglipas ng panahon.
Inisiip ko lagi paano kaya kung namatay ako, may dadalaw ba sa aking lamay. Iiyakan ba nila ako. Gaano kadami o kaunti ang pupunta. Hay ewan ko. Bahala na siguro. Naiiyak na lang ako bigla sa jeepney sa tuwing may naaalala akong bagay na nakakakapag bigay ng sobrang kalungkutan at pangungulila. Ironic nga eh, kung saan ang pinakagusto kong sandali ng buhay na mapag-isa dun naman ang point na napakalungkot ko naman. Hindi ko na maintindihan ang sarili ko minsan. Kung anu ba talaga ang gusto ko gawin sa buhay. Kung anung landas ang tatahakin ko. Kung anu ba ang plano ko mangyari sa buhay ko. Kung sino sino ang makakapagbigay sa akin ng tunay na kaligayahan.

Hanggang kailan ako mag-aantay para sa taong para sa akin. Sabi nila maghintay lang ako, pero hanggang kailan. Hindi naman sa nagmamadali pero ilang taon na akong naghihintay. Anu pa ang kailangan kong gawin para mahanap siya. Napapagod na ako minsan na umabot sa puntong gusto ko nang bumigay na lang at bahala na at tanggapin na ganito na lang ang aking kapalaran. Ang mabuhay na mag-isa hanggang sa tumanda at mamatay. Nakakalungkot pero hinahanda ko na ang sarili ko sa ganitong bagay. Siguro pag nangyari iyon mas gusto kong magpakalayo-layo na lang sa lugar na hindi ako kilala. O kaya pumunta na lang sa Golden Acres para alagaan ng ibang tao.

Pasensya na kung ganito lagi ang nasa isipan ko ngayon. Hindi pa naman ako depressed. It's just nalilito lang ako at nangangapa kung anu naba ang lagay ko ngayon, kung saan ako patungo. Puro na lang negative naririnig nyo sa akin. Hindi ko rin alam kung bakit ako ganito. Masisira na ang ulo ko kakaisip sa daming ng mga problema na dumadaan sa aking isipan. Bakit kailangang mangyari sa akin ito. Sobra ko na silang iniisip na nakakalimutan ko na ang sarili ko. Hindi mo naman maiiwasan na hindi sila isipin dahil parte na sila ng buhay mo.

Siguro kailangan ko lang ng makakasama sa buhay ngayon. Taong handang makinig sa akin. Handang intindihin nilalaman ng aking puso. Yung kayang paamuhin ako. Yung taong ma-appreciate lahat ng ginagawa ko sa kanya. Yung handa akong ipaglaban at mahalin nang walang kapalit. Argh! Hindi naman nag-eexist ang ganung tao. Pero heto ako naghahanap na naman kahit hindi makita kung may pag-asa pa ba talaga at may magandang bukas ba na nag-aantay. Please dumating ka na buhay ko. At iligtas mo ako sa pagkakalugmok at pag torture sa aking puso't isipan. Sana dumating ka na.

Zombie Fest

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"I will knock down the Gates of the Netherworld,
I will smash the door posts, and leave the doors flat down,
And will let the dead go up to eat the living!
And the dead will outnumber the living!"
-Epic of Gilgamesh

A zombie is a reanimated human corpse. Stories of zombies originated in the Afro-Caribbean spiritual belief system of Vodou, which told of the people being controlled as laborers by a powerful sorcerer. There are several possible etymologies of the word zombie. One possible origin is jumbie, the West Indian term for "ghost". Another is nzambi, the Kongo word meaning "spirit of a dead person." According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the word entered English circa 1871; it's derived from the Louisiana Creole or Haitian Creole zonbi, which in turn is of Bantu origin. A zonbi is a person who is believed to have died and been brought back to life without speech or free will. It is akin to the Kimbundu nzúmbe ghost. -Wikipedia

***
Maiba naman, puro na lang kasi ako laro online pag weekends, kaya for a change. Zombie horror fest sa DVD for 2 days ang inyong lingkod. Since mukhang bloated zombie na rin siya, might as well appreciate my own kind. Haha! Typical American bloody and gore type ang mga movies na ito (kaya naman nakakasawa na minsan to the point na mas gusto ko ang Asian "psychological horror" compared to the western counterparts). Walang pinagbago ang suot nila, gusgusin pa rin sila, pale-skinned, naglalaway ng dugo and other bloody fluids. Pinagkaiba nga lang minsan eh yung mode ng pag-atake nila, pag-kain sa tao, pag-iisip nila, galaw at minsan may personality pa ata. Kawawa naman ang mga hindi bida kasi nagiging zombies lang sila in the end at yung bida either half-alive or puro dugo ang parte ng katawan.

Kahit mapili pa ako sa mga movies eh no choice naman ako kung walang pagpipilian lalo na't nasa pirated DVD package siya (Chairman Edu sensya na po!), although may mga luma namang palabas worth watching. Umay na kasi ang iba ung tipong super tanga talaga na andyan na nga ang kalaban hala sige magpapakagat ka nalang para tumakbo ang story.

28 Days/Weeks Later. Ok ang movie na ito, hindi ka aantukin lalo na't puro sprinter ata mga zombies dito affected by "rage virus", wala lang ang bilis ng infection, malawayan ka lang ng mga ito, within seconds buong area infested na. Nakakatakot isipin na what if maging "air-borne" ang ganitong virus within minutes siguro buong mundo naapektuhan na at magiging wasteland na ang Earth. Can't wait for the next sequel 28 Months later sa 2010 i think. Hmm 28 years, 28 decades parang imposible na mukhang malilimitan na ang mga title na gagawin baka mag prequel na sila ng "28 hours later".

Resident Evil series. Yeah given na ito na dapat kong panoorin since nilalaro ko ito during those PS days (sigh.. how i miss those goolf old PS times with teh PS boys). Buti na lang at kahit papano loyal siya sa game at kumuha ng reference like the characters, villains and the story mismo. Good old Nemesis, Licker eh andun pa din. Sa simula matagal ang infection which takes a couple of hours habang dumadami ang sequel eh pabilis rin ang oras ng paghawa. Final solution nalang palagi ang pagbomba sa Raccoon City. Huhu!

Night of the Living Dead and other Living Dead series by George Romero. Basically ito ang naging foundation ng modern zombie horror genre. Kung paano sila kumilos, kumain and manghawa ng iba. I have to admit medyo inantok ako since iba na ang panahon ngayon. Haha! Wala lang kasing bagal kasi ng mga zombies ang takbo ng story pero it's worth naman since it's a classic. Ang nag-eenjoy naman ako kung paano nila pagpiyestahan mga nakakain nila.

The Serpent and the Rainbow. By Wes Craven another horror director, itong movie na ang ito nag nag-uugnay sa zombie sa Haitian voodo folklore which scientifically proved (according to the movie) kung paano nagiging zombie ang isang tao thru injection of a certain chemical.

Marami pa akong napanood na movie that day pero yung iba eh "indie" na siya and err not worth your time watching since poorly made ang iba, yung tipong parang thesis lang sa school or walang kwentang story. Kaya pag hindi ko naintindihan o nagustuhan ang takbo eh lipat agad ng bagong movie. Wala lang, marami pa akong hindi napapanood talaga at kulang ang mga susunod na Saturdays and Sundays para dito. Parang divertion ko na rin para makatipid at pumirmi na lang sa haus kesa magliwaliw sa labas.

Clip: Tuyo Na'ng Damdamin - Silent Sanctuary

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Tuyo Na'ng Damdamin
Silent Sanctuary

Minsan kahit na pilitin mong uminit ang damdamin
Di siya susunod, at di maglalambing
Minsan di mo na mapigil mapansin
Na talagang wala nang naiiwan na pagmamahal

[Refrain]
At kahit na anong gawin
Di mo na mapilit at madaya
Aminin sa sarili mo
Na wala ka nang mabubuga

Parang 'sang kandila na nagdadala
Ng ilaw at liwanag
Nauubos rin sa magdamag

(Instrumental)

Minsan di mo na mapigil mapansin
Na talagang wala nang naiiwan na pagmamahal

(Repeat Refrain)

Di na madaig o mabalik ang dating matamis na kahapon
Pilitin ma'y tuyo na'ng damdamin

Tuyo na'ng damdamin (repeat 4x)