Hedgehogs' Dilemma

Ritsuko: Well, I would guess that Shinji isn't exactly the sort of person who makes friends easily. Do you know the fable the "Hedgehogs' dilemma"?
Misato: Hedgehog? You mean those animals with the spiny hair?
Ritsuko: Even though a hedgehog may want to become close with another hedgehog, the closer they get, the more they injure each other with their spines. It's the same with some humans. The reason he seems so withdrawn, is because he's afraid of being hurt.
Misato: Well, he's just, going to have to learn, someday, that part of growing up means, finding a way to interact with others, without distancing pain.
-Episode 3, A Transfer / The Phone That Never Rings, Neon Genesis Evangelion

The hedgehog's dilemma, or sometimes the porcupine dilemma, is an analogy about the challenges of human intimacy. It describes a situation in which a group of hedgehogs all seek to become close to one another in order to share their heat during cold weather. However, once accomplished, they cannot avoid hurting one another with their sharp quills. They must step away from one another. Though they all share the intention of a close reciprocal relationship, this may not occur for reasons which they cannot avoid.

Both Schopenhauer and Freud have used this situation to describe what they feel is the state an individual will find themselves in relation to others. The hedgehog's dilemma suggests that despite goodwill, human intimacy cannot occur without substantial mutual harm, and what results is cautious behavior and weak relationships. With the hedgehog's dilemma one is recommended to use moderation in the affairs with others both because it is in self-interest, and also out of consideration for others. The hedgehog's dilemma is used to justify or explain introversion and isolationism.

Bakit ko na-open ang topic na ito, simple; Ganito nararamdaman ko ngayon sa buhay ko na may kasama pang personality avoidant disorder - kaya siguro parang antisocial ang personality ko ngayon. Kasi para akong hedgehog - sa pagnanais na mapalapit sa isang tao, hindi nagagawa dahil natatakot masaktan. Kelan ko pa kaya makikita ang isang hedgehog na handang ipaglaban ako kahit puro sakit pa ang mararanasan..

4 Reaction(s) :: Hedgehogs' Dilemma

  1. aktwali jin... naipost ko na ito noon sa friendster blog ko...hehehe

    and yeah, mahirap nga yung ganyang sitwasyon

  2. "once accomplished, they cannot avoid hurting one another with their sharp quills">> didnt know this. quite odd but as you have said and as the term defines it, it sometimes happens to us.

    sana hindi ka tatagal sa stage na yan.

  3. An excerp from the book "The Secret", let's apply it, hehe

    …stop thinking you don't have love. stop focusing on what is lacking in your life. start by recognizing that there are so many people around us who love us and whom we can love back! family, friends, people we work with… then you become thankful sincerely of what you already have: this wonderful people around. Then start loving. It's an action word. start focusing your energies on making people you love happy. spend time with them, make them laugh, make them feel appreciated. then extend to other people in dire need of loving: the poor, the elderly, the abandoned, the orphans and widows. just keep on loving and loving. this way, you stop focusing on what you don't have and you start focusing on loving people around. you end up sending signals of love to the universe. and that is what the universe will give back to you. love, in all its forms, perhaps including romantic love....


  4. @eben/dong
    salamat nga pala sa palagiang pag reply sa aking mga entries. pasensya na po at hindi ako nakakadalaw sa site nyo.

    salamat sa inspirational messages.